26 april

The difference between thinking too much and contemplating appropriately is that the former will possibly make one turn queasy with irrational fear, while the latter seeks to build upon cogent agitation and propel one into decisively proper action.

I have chosen the latter as the choicer option. Do not be mistaken.




Please be careful, the water is not as safe as it seems, but, know what? We'll get across safely.

21 april

Head throbbing, Mind swirling

Getting warmer, too heavy, too heavy, arghh.

No, turning cold on the outside: I correct myself.

No wait, it's getting warmer AND colder,

both together, all at once, all suddenly.


Can we, please?
Head throbbing, blood is warming, in the head, in the head...
Can we, please?

Disapproval paints its way on one face,

and

Incapability shows on another face.


Thanks, once again, for showing that the values over here are to be:

Miserly,
Stingy,
Scrooge-like.

Thanks, for showing that being a penny-pincher is worth more than the

Well-being,
Health,
Protection,

...of a family member.

Whatever, Oh, just forget it. Move on.

Is that how it's supposed to be in a proper household of His?

Remind me once again, that when I'm older, I will never, never be like this.

kids on a bus

Young hearts still unsullied by the world, double was the fun and laughter shared between you both. Exchanging playful jibes and laughing at each one's antics, there was no need to worry about anything else.
School was out, snacks were in, and home was near. That salty whiff which accompanied your snacks that you both grabbed onto with your small hands... it was that odor of interruption that I had always found repellent.



But Anxiety was not in sight, not for you both. Little boys, with little cares. Perhaps, just that 25-word-list spelling homework, or the fear of losing the famous five book that you borrowed from him. And to have that packet of salted fowl slices was a scrumptious indulgence above all else.
And no one else seemed to be in that world. Just the 2 of you, your uninhibited selves at ease and at play, in laughter and in-sured by childhood's innocence. My sardonic predispositions slowly faded as I looked on at you both.



Fatigue screamed silently into my ears, but I could not fall asleep. With a mind that was in partial drowsy numbness, I mustered some spare fuel to observe you 2 at play. And there was no disappointment, for you 2 were affable and amusing.

Ah! He is looking at us! (yes, I am looking at you 2)
What shall we do? Hmm... Let's continue! We'll make him laugh. (oh, what are you 2 whispering about?)
Yes, he is still looking. He looks fierce. (you 2 are so secretive!)
Wait... I see him smiling at us. haha! (why are you 2 smiling at me?)




twenty and almost three revolutions around the sun later, life has not shown all that it holds for me. But yet, systematic cultures have imposed their tedious whir upon my viewpoints. And manifested in the form of panda under-eye patches, I found myself having lost most of my ingenuity.


The bus ride injected a dose of life into my wearied soul. For you 2 showed me what it was like to be a child again: uninhibited, unworried, unsullied / Laughter, Lightheartedness, LOLs.
No more salty stink, only amused attention.
And a reminiscence of my own childhood.

Thank you both for making me laugh like a child again.









And thank you for making me feel child-like again, and to know that it's ok to be silly. :)

Swing Mood Swing

I see that swing out in the open, beckoning me to jump on and dance away
I wanted to run out immediately, to hop on and play
There it was, veering back and forth, going on in sway.


Putting my hand on the glass, I looked on from the window's trace
of my heart and of my soul, that window was glazed
shut and fastened, such that I had to stay in my place.


and you were adamant in your headstrong myopia
while you were that ill-informed milquetoast
and your voices saying "No"
but only because the interest possessed was Nil.


What a disappointment
How do we carry on, when our expectations are so disparate
when our cares are so divergent
and our wishes are poles apart.


What a disappointment
It's not that I don't see the storm, but that you don't see the joy
in praising and serving in the storm.
And lost in your sedated TV world, you barely stop to listen.


So I stay on and look,
just for now,
and one day when the skies are smiling
I will go out and play on that swing.

---

What a disappointment
and that is why we have so little in common, you know?
and why sometimes, I really can't wait to step outside on my own.

Haiku

Buying time this Spring,

16-dollars flies from me,

Cut to the chase yes.

4 April 2009

Were you there when they crucified my Lord?

Sometimes, it causes me to tremble,

tremble, 

tremble...

Were you there when they laid Him in the tomb?

i ... Tremble for my Beloved.